Story behind the Ratt

What can I say?  Born in a dark alley behind a dumpster, lived in a sewer until adulthood… only catching glimpses of light the world above once in a while.  After 25 years of living in polluted filth, being fed worthless scraps, and still bearing the scars of a subpar existance, I escaped to the surface in hopes of a better life.  Only, it wasn’t much better.  In fact, I was surprised to find more of the same polluted filth & worthless scraps of my former sewer-dwelling life. 

Now, I roam your world… cleansing your streets of filth.  I offer refuge those you have shunned away.  I bathe those you throw your garbage on.  I destroy the poison traps you set out for my kind.  I educate those who would otherwise fall into the exterminator’s hands.

Pests, are we?  You’d like to make us think so…  but the truth is, we outnumber you.  You say we’re diseased… but the truth is, we’re the only ones who are healthy.  You say we’re vermin… but the truth is, you’re frightened of the threat we pose to your happy little fairy-tale lives.  Your days of pollution and corruption are numbered, human. 

Arise, my brethren, it is the dawn of a new era!  An era of Rattdom!  The day when your largest dumps will blaze in the cleansing fire of Logic draws closer!  This is the time when The Ratt’s of the world will consume you whole!!!!  For, when all is said and done, it is you, the polluter, who is responsible for the garbage… help, the Ratt’s are coming!

I also like long walks on the beach, quiet evenings by the fire, and peanut butter.